Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need a beard to bite.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
