alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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