Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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