It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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