My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
