Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
