...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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