You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I smell stomach acid.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
