Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
