Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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