I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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