If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize