I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
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His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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