just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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