nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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