If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
