I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
