Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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