i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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