In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
