I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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