You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
