Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
