how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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