there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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