We need to rekindle our bromance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Less talking, more tequila
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
