Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
