im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
