i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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