did you get engaged???
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize