I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
