Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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