the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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