Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
