i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
