I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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