Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
