okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
