K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
