You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
