You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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