We're like a lot better than the average bears
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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