I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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