you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ketchup is God's man juice
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
