This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
