Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
