i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
