he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
this hospital has no fireball
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
