doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
