Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
