shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
