Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
