summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
