Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
