You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
