oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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