Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize