shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
