It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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