the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
